Norway Braces For a Butter-Free Christmas

Known solely as peasant food during the Middle Ages, butter slowly squished its way into the upper classes only after the Roman Catholic Church allowed its consumption during Lent in the 16th Century.

Now, however, it looks as if butter is getting its revenge, as this base fatty pleasure appears to be snubbing one of the world’s richest countries.

Termed “the great Norwegian butter crisis” by the Swedish media, the country’s butter prices have reached astronomical proportions, leaving Norwegians with little choice other than to find comfort in hideous slabs of margarine this Christmas.

The prices purportedly hit the roof after Norway stepped up its protectionist policies to shield itself from the financially battered state of the EU.

As a result, the Swedes, who are typically outshined by the Norwegians in industry, the arts and sports, are currently having a field day over the fatty fiasco.

They’re even saying a poem written by English poet Jenny Joseph sums up the mindset of the Norwegian government perfectly. It goes –

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve got no money for butter”.

Oh how butter-lovers wish their government would conform.

Well, the editors at The Fox Gazette are glad they’re not having breakfast at Jenny Joseph’s house, or in any house in Norway for that matter. As a celebration is at hand, and what’s a celebration without butter?

It’s The Fox Gazette’s 100th article today. Pass the butter please! Toot toot.